Songbook: The Wychwood Host

Based on 'Johnny I Hardly Knew Ye', the early 19th century Irish anti-war and anti-recruiting song
Other famous versions include 'When Johnny Comes Marching Home' (US Civil War), 'The Ants Go Marching One By One' and 'The Animals go in Two by Two'

We're horrible, nasty, cruel and mean
Hoorah! Hoorah!
We're horrible, nasty, cruel and mean
Hoorah! Hoorah!
We're horrible, nasty, cruel and mean
We're twisted, warped and very obscene
And we kill, kill, kill, kill
We are the Wychwood Host

Our enemy's blood is our favourite brew
But we like bacon and mushrooms too

We sing all night and we never sleep
So lock up your daughters and your sheep

We like to kill and we like to maim
And then we get up and we do it again

Bitter, cider, rum and coke
We like to drink until we choke

We like to fight I do suppose
But most of all we like to pose

We walk around the streets at night
And give the civilised bastards a fright

We bash each other until we reel
But not to kill, to grope and feel

We're courageous, brave and modest, too
And we're the best, so sucks to you!

We like children and babies too
We like to eat them in our stew

We all go home when the show is done
(Oh No! Oh No!)
But soon there'll be another one

We have songs for every mood
We change them all to make them rude

We're subtle, modest and discreet
As we run naked down the street
(And we streak, streak, streak, streak)

We punt along without a frown
Sink the punt and almost drown
(And we swim, swim, swim, swim
We are the Wychwood Punt)

We're driving home from Breedon church
We hit the snow and stop with a lurch
(And we dig, dig, dig, dig
We are the Wychwood Bus)

April 2022 Hauksby verses:
We’re trapped in the fort and Rory’s lost
We heard he was seen in wilberfoss
(And he’s lost lost lost lost)

Our wounds and cuts will never gape
We’ve bound them up in electrical tape

We have a quite ferocious charge
Our wood is small but our balls are large!

in as pathetic a voice as possible
A fucky wucky Sam has done
(Oh No! Oh No!)
Twas even worse then the previous one
(And we weave, weave, weave, weave
We are the Wychwood Woast)

June 2022 Vikefest verses:
We're holding the line while the flanks are lost
While Rory's sent back to Wilberfoss
(And we hold hold hold hold)

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