Songbook: The Teddy Bears' Rave-Up

Tune by John Walter Bratton, original words by Jimmy Kennedy

New words by Fred Wedlock?

If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the woods today
You'll never believe your eyes.
For every bear that ever there was
Is gathered there for certain because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their rave up.

There's angel bears who come on their bikes
All dressed in their leather gear
There's gallons of scrumpy all green and lumpy
And horrible Watney's beer
Yogi downed a pint of it quick
And was very promptly horribly sick
And filled up both of Paddington's new wellies.

Rave up time for teddy bears
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today
Grooving to those heavy sounds
That only Status Quo know how to play.
Cresta bear is freaking out
"It's frothy, man", he's blowing his little brain
Rupert bear is having a trip
Winnie the Pooh is doing the strip
They reckon that he's on the game.

Now every bear that ever there was
Is sure of a treat today
'Cause Mummy and Daddy and baby bear
Have found a new game to play
Beneath the trees where nobody sees
There's Goldilocks tied up on her knees
You bet your life she's getting more than porridge.

If you go down to the woods today
You'd better not go alone
It's lovely down in the woods today
But safer to stay at home
'Cause it's a really kinky scene
A big butch bear is playing the queen
And they don't call him Sugar Puffs for nothing.

Rave up time for teddy bears
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today
Groping in the undergrowth
Oh, what would Enid Blyton have to say
See them as they prance around
Collapsing on the ground; they haven't any cares
At twelve o'clock the coppers are coming
To take them all away
'Cause they've been naughty little teddy bears.

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