To the tune of 'Hoist up the Thing' by The Longest Johns, written by Oswyn the Swift in around October of 2023
Fresh into Oxford, these essays are hell,
I search for a club in which I could excel,
I soon found a website and gave it a read,
A group that fights Vikings with no one to lead,
What luck said I, to find such good fortune,
It took me mere hours, to locate the field,
Ahead were these pagans who needed to die,
I leapt to the front, and gave this war cry.
Stab with your thing, block with your whatsit,
What is that big axe somebody should stop it,
Charge at the foe, no that's us, now I got it,
Trust me I'm in control.
I can't get the songs right, it has to be said,
And all of this mead just goes right to my head,
This helmet is heavy and awkward to wear,
Please will you slow down, I just need some air.
Why are they charging, I'll lead from behind,
They could have outflanked us now bear that in mind,
Oh shit yes they have, I advance to the fore,
I think we might have started a war.
Hold the line here, charge at the villains,
Why are they behind us somebody should kill em,
Support our left flank, no that's right, now you listen,
Trust me I'm in control.
Did anyone see where the first aid kit went,
The daneaxe was safe, this is not making sense,
Some leadership skills are required and fast,
If I don't act quickly it could be my arse.
So find the bus timetable to a&E,
I see what it says but no clue what it means,
I'll call up the others, delegation is key,
I'm travel sick and need to do my degree.
So block with your thing, stab with your whatsit,
What is that big axe and why's no one stopped it,
Charge at those danes, that's the public, Now I got it,
Trust me I'm in control.
Please trust me I'm in control.
