Trad. Irish lyrics and tune.
As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be.
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see.
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be.
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see.
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before.
And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be.
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see.
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before.
And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be.
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see.
They're two lovely geranium pots me mother sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But laces in geranium pots I never saw before.
And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be.
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see.
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before.
And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be.
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see.
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before.
As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw a lad sneaking out the back, a quarter after three.
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me,
Who was that lad sneaking out the back a quarter after three?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see.
That was just the tax man that the Queen she sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But an Englishman who could last till three I've never seen before.
